Saturday, December 24, 2016

I gor sacked for lemmy

wanted to do this one up irhgt, fo rtht eMAN , bwent into this newgig a t BURRITO TACO HOUSE I shit you not tha tis the name, kind of a ghost ship on autopoiilot otu by the dog nd pony track, lost to the 70s, does enough business on one0time tourists not to have to be at ALL a fucklen place fo rrael. I was like, I'm gonna tank this gig so hard for fufking Lemmy. HONOR IN GLORY HONOR IN RAGE HONOR IN FRIJOLES CANCELLADO

So I piss all in ther elike thighs out man, cock o the walk, yeah I'm the best fucken sculler you ever got your hot load boilin for, mamanger creep, gimme the gig, you'd be lucky if yyou had me in there. And instead a turnin me right on the hell out the door guy sys "You start now?" So I'm like fuckit


and I aint 'do jack shit, truth be told. there's this busser kid from the local progfam name d Dann y D who does all my dishes, nearas I can tell hes a little jimmed up off the norm, bent and smiley, but  I tell hifjjm how cool he is, take hiim under my wing, teach him how ot be a man, , he gets some bigass simle and achienvement, he's gla dto be makin someone proud. He aint all sorted for keeps up top, but hell if he aint' happy an d I get to delveope my phiilosoophies on ohw ot be a man on an intaersted audience.. SO far bein a man mean s demandin respect  and  collectin the marg dregs in a pitcher for old Lyle to take ito the walk-in and pound on the hour NEVER SHORT ME


Kinda gettin emitonial tinkin about how I help this kid, mabe  anew puropse in life for me, new direction , intense

Mahbe finally kind a bein somebody


Friday, October 14, 2016

fudken sakede SACKED

man i wasn't at athah place two shifts and the fuckknen pastry chkef calls me out ans says YOU, OUT

Thhrew my station on the ground and gave a real good F YOU, talkin doubl ebirds, sppinnin in circles on one hw heel before grabbin my roll an bustin out. I was doin pastry prep aftewr some book sI been readin inna las fw years, NAKED PIG GOES TO MEDOC etc,.not even just scullin n slingin bean s as ausual. trin to up my game. did'nt amout ot nothin.

stuiod new plac eaclled hamlanders or somethin,  i forget, fn preteneoius, "ingreidnet forward hyper local " well gues what pal ashole chef JEFF I rmemebr yoru name and you got no business sackin me just acuse I drank all the wine didn't win du up poachin the hasellbeck pears, asshsole, was just gonna go to wastee, il drlink what I wnt and if you want me arounads that is the deal

yor udesserts all look likek dongs

Sunday, May 04, 2008


.,holy fuzz button (clit-) got sasclked from Joesephine's after like eight weeks of shit goin wrel good. frnch place shoulda known they'd bew dicks. was busin a plata chartcuterei back and tooka abig bite outat asome pork chop and mgr jean pual givesm me the MERDE!!! an cuts my apron off with a a knife he grabsa from some prepo cook

man am i ever gonana be a CEO lookin' unlikelyt

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

fuckien salcked

fucking vietname place gig was goni well smoked with the dudes out abakc durn breaks or wahtever frewe soup an gettin fat on noodle s

main dude Diet Guy (real name pronuced DEET GHEE( alway syellin at wife though an she's alawyas givin me the the ice eye scowel an i can tell that's hate whiteyspeak for GET LOST WHITEY

anwya was doin bang up job sculln and prep but today Die tguy puts a wadda cash in my chest pckoet an paacka smoke s which is my wif ehates you for GET LOST SORRY THOUGH

ben around this busioness long enuogh to get fired in every langauge)(^#
PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*&(*@#^$ (*^#$ #((*(*####

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


fn owner ofvewr a t Olivios gavce mne my walkiong papers last nighut since he saaw me eation offa a plate I was clearn. i was like the fucking guy left a fn sausage the size 'a my arm you seroiuslyi thinkl I aoin't gonna eat that DICKEHAD? and he sias I got the resrt of the night off an dnot to show up otmorrow. that ain't code alnaguage i am sacked like john fn holmes

dude was famous for his sakc

among other things


Tuesday, September 25, 2007

well thats a fick pissr

fn manager at Corleone's gave me the saklc tonight cause I was eatin stuff off plates onn away back from busin the table. fn people shouldn't oredwe4r a staek if they'er not gonna finiash it. fudcking quaiil too an dpasta s lookin too good ot leanve alone like barely mot ven touched. fuckers and look how they live throw away food and go off in a fucking jaguruar, ill fucken eat it cause don't waastrew good shit like that on hte sculler anywaysa he'll eaet it an he nevaer getrs sacked assahoel

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

glases are rad

nw glasses acdtauly fuck n alritht gotaskeds a qusation by soem chick toadya

shes' aall susse me sir can yoiu tell eme theh time

im' like ACE OF SPAEDES 1

fn she baceked off but whateaqvre thassa most headway i maidae w a chick inlike sixi yearas \

dpretty soone its like lyle will yo ohave my baby

no but good teo get some rewasapct

BAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH1!!!!!$5 6939%%%%%%% *((**(